I’ve seen the future, and it’s just annoying…

I had a rather interesting day today in town. Much more interesting than the usual town experience. In my opinion, this is mainly attributed to my time in the Apple Store. I sometimes go to the Apple Store to see the life I can’t afford- but by today, I hadn’t been for a while and so I went for a gazing session around the shiny and interesting. 

The normal Apple products are quite interesting, but I often like to see some of the sponsored items on display from other companies. So once I had spent around 10 minutes trying to work out how the smart interactive shapes worked, which turned out to be just for display, my attention was drawn to a small pebble looking object on display on the opposing side of the room. The thing was about the size of an iPod Shuffle and had a fabric texture. It was small, round, perfect, and it made me want to crush it. 

Who’s never thought ‘what if I just knock it down?’ Credit: Shutterstock

Have you ever had it when something is so perfect you hate it? Do you know what I mean? Like when someone on the TV talks in a really soothing and quiet tone and it makes you want to throw your TV out of the window, or when you see a perfect sand castle and just want to stomp on it (providing it’s maker is not still around, I’m not a savage)? Or in this case, a really small pebble looking piece of tech which clips to your waste. It brings a whole new meaning to ‘beauty is pain’. 

The rule of irony then dictates (of corse) that this turns out to be a small wearable which paired with an app- claimed to help ease stress and anxiety. I then watched a short video on the phone it was paired with in the store- which infuriated me even more. The video spoke of the uncertain times we live in and how many people need respite from the chaos of daily life (showing videos of protest). Personally, my first port of call to deal with this stress would be to get inside the protest- not strap some Ridley Scott looking thing to my waist, but there you go. Overall, this device had been more than unsuccessful in trying to lower my blood pressure- and I hadn’t even bought it.

The annoying beauty it’s self right here. It even comes with it’s own annoying charging dock. Credit: YouTube

Another thing that really infuriates me is the fact that nothing in the Apple Store is held down with anything– you’re free to move around with most of the products, with nothing to tether them down to their designated resting spots. I understand that they’re demo phones and probably won’t work outside of the store- but nevertheless, the freedom is real. And that freedom annoys me. That’s too much freedom for a consumer peasant like me, don’t they know my place in the corporate machine?

Perhaps, instead of having devices which claim to ease stress, we could actually fight the system that is keeping us down. I’m thinking devices and services which let us take out our anger- an electronic punch-bag, so to speak. Ah, wait. I’ve realised. That’s just the Internet…

Thumbnail credit: We Heart It

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