I dare you to read this whole post.

I dare you to read this whole post. Not just the title, don’t just leave the tab open then go somewhere else. The whole thing. I dare you.

It’s got to be a trick. It has to be, that’s what you’re thinking. There is a point to all of this- once I get to the end there might be a game code or something. Perhaps there’s a link to an exclusive video which provides the first ever real evidence that the Iluminati is real. But none of this will happen. But I dare you to read this whole post.

Perhaps if you read this to the end, then you’ll get some kind of sense of joy or find ultimate happiness- or something along the lines of that. Maybe you will, but I wrote this- and all I feel is guilt for not publishing a proper post today because of my writers block, so there’s that. But I dare you to read this whole thing.

Maybe if you read it you gain entry into an exclusive club whose responsibility is to correctly age certify every new film (or maybe that’s the job for a board of film classifiers)…

Maybe if you read this, you will discover a hidden gem of knowledge inside the post which you can quote in a CV which will lead to a job offer for a small design firm in the Isle of Man. This firm will later be taken over by Amazon, who pull all of their money and resources into the division in order to try and establish a whole new brand image. This venture ultimately crashes to the ground and you are left jobless, with a minimum severance package. You then put every penny you receive into investing into Snapchat, who have just had their multi-billion IPO. However, you later realise that you have brought shares in a dating company with a similar name. However, many people have also done the same thing, so you sell your shares- making a huge profit- which you invest directly into a new art gallery that showcases ‘living’ electronic art.  But you won’t.

Congratulations. You’ve made it to the end of this post- this is really it. The final paragraph. Writers block.  Can you even believe it? I mean, it’s not as if the world is lacking in any sort of inspiration right now. Seriously, I can’t believe it. Anyway, you’ve made it the whole way to the end of this- and I’m very proud of you. Now go outside and get some fresh air.


  1. one of the problems is that if you go back in time, people spoke in an increasingly flowery-sounding way, and these people inspire modern writers and thinkers.

    i often think our love-affair with the soundbite is a necessary biproduct of overpopulation– we dont have time to stop and read. of course if you ever manage to say everything you wish to succinctly, youll wonder why you didnt just do that before.

    but not everyone has the skill the cut through all of that themselves– if they cant do it for themselves, they cant do it for anyone else.

    some real bastards will go so far as to say that if you cant cut it down to a soundbite, it doesnt even matter. a circular argument, and ad hom from someone who cant themselves prove they have anything to say. i dont want to put those words in your mouth, no– its just a pet peeve of mine that hopefully has nothing to do with you. obviously you wouldnt have typed this if you werent one of those authors gifted with a knack for brevity. good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

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