Black Friday: Getting Ready for the Annual Purge.

Aah. Black Friday.

I can smell the madness already. If you didn’t know- Black Friday is an annual event… Held on a Friday. Ok. I think I’m about done.

It is held on the last Friday of November every year- the 25th in this year’s case- and is followed by Cyber Monday, a nerd cult version of Black Friday except you don’t have to leave your bedroom. As well as being the most metaphorically dark day of the year, as the name suggests, Black Friday is derived from the business term ‘in the red’- which means that losses are being made. Black Friday therefore suggests that a profit is being turned by many companies- but at what cost?

Anyone would think it’s the US Election in four days time… (

Admittedly I was very concerned about my local area leading up to Black Friday this year. For the last few years- my local ASDA has been shut down pretty much straight after the day starts- and authorities called to the scene (Basingstoke, UK). Last year, I counted roughly 30 mins before I found out police were called.

Fortunately, when doing some quick research for this article- I found out that ASDA were not opening this year- a wise move. Don’t worry ASDA- you’ll probably make the same amount of money- just without the broken bones.

So how can we end this carnage for good and put and end to the chaos and shoppocolyptic nightmare? Simply don’t go shopping. There are another 364 days in the year you can go shopping and feel at ease, knowing that you won’t end up in the Accident and Emergency Room. If you desperately need to buy something on this day, for the ‘deep discounts’- I strongly suggest that you use the World Wide Web- a brand new technology that lets you abuse people and loose your life savings without even leaving your home- amazing, I know right?

It’s easy to get caught in the frenzy of Black Friday- but just stop for a moment and think- If I’m here, shouldn’t I be buying food and water in bulk leading up to the US Election in 4 days time?

Please, enough pain and suffering goes into making these products without factoring in the buying element…

In summary, Black Friday is the Capitalist version of Christmas, which could explain why many people end up in hospital and very few people make it out on top.


Thumbnail Credit: The Spud.

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